Hi there.
It sure has been a minute. Again.
Friday the first event happened. I hope it is the last event but I fear there will be more.
They were in a good mood that day. They even had Cane’s. They love Cane’s. They had a good day at school.
We took them to the hospital. They were physically fine. They’re in care now. They will come home Friday.
I’m not okay. What can we even do? We locked everything sharp up, any kind of lighter, all the medicine, all the vitamins. We locked up a lot of shit. We threw a lot away. The guns got locked up a few months ago when all of this lava started filling into the volcano. This was a small eruption and didn’t put anything in danger but what if the next one is worse? What if the volcano blows and takes out everything? I’ll be done. There will be no going on for me, I’ll be consumed by the volcanic eruption. For sure.
I’d get it if they were sad. But they seemed legitimately happy. Joking around. Having fun. Playing a video game at one point. Rode their bike.
What can we do if the sky doesn’t get dark before it rains? Just hailing out of a clear blue sky? What do we do?
I don’t even have any of the friends I once had. I think maybe one, the man from Missouri. And maybe the one in Tucson. But even then, we talk 1/900th as much as I’ve talked to close friends over the years. Wang seems to only be interested and only responds to or talks about Cameras. I’m happy he has a fixation. Is this aging? No friends anymore? I didn’t think it got this alone until they all started literally catching cases of death.
Katy died. Shade died. Jackie died. Grungie died. Chris died. Grandma died but she made it into old age. Jami and Charlee rightfully cut me off from communication years ago. I say rightfully leaning the entire scale over in their favor which I don’t agree with but I’ve always been selfless. I’m a piece of shit, so why wouldn’t my kid feel like shit?
What can I even do?
Leave a Reply